Today, my youngest son turned 15. I talked to him on the phone. He’s one-hundred and some odd miles away. He was happy. I was glad to hear it. It bums me out that I didn’t see him today but I’ll see him soon. My mom’s birthday is also today.

The more pressing matter is this Christmas party that is about to take place here in this house. My parents are having a number of their school mates over. Sunday school mates. Twenty-five to thirty of them. We talked about it earlier and I’m just going to stay through dinner, after which time I’ll saunter off to this back bedroom like Igor. Although, I am dressed snappy in my Sunday best. Minus the coat. And tie. And button-down shirt. However, I am rather dapper. It feels good to look good.

I don’t know how I’m going to manage this exactly. I’ll need to smoke cigarettes. Which I’ll need to go outside to do. So I’m thinking I’m just going to cut through the laundry room, through their closet, into my parents room and then out through the garage. Of course, if I want anything to drink, I’ll have to go into the kitchen. I’ll go in through the dining room. Or maybe just straight in. I’ll have to scope it out and see where the least amount of traffic is.

Did make the decision that I’m not going to do any of my “work” tonight while I’m listening to the soft hum of Christmas music and warm voices coming through the walls to my quiet my room back here. That, and the fact that the entire Sunday School class might just decide to stone me if they have enough egg nog, what with me being El Diablo. You know. I’m a known pornographer.

They probably wouldn’t. But I’m not taking any chances. Just going to lay low tonight.

The doorbell just rang. I guess I need to go make an appearance now.

UPDATE.
I’ve included a drawing of my escape route below for your convenience. (XXX is, of course, me.)