Coming back to Miami, I had a plan: go to the VA, take care of little details of life, get work. I’ve completed the first two items, but am stuck on the third. Given my particularly odd skill set, I would like to go ahead and offer my services to any who might be interested:

Service #1
——————————————
Do you need the services of a professional scooter driver? Someone who can deliver stuff? Maybe important papers? Or a pizza? If so, I’m the guy! I have skills!

With over 13,000 miles logged in under two years (and more each day!), I can assure you that you won’t find anyone more experienced at driving a scooter. I also have extensive experience in traveling with goods! I’m like The Transporter, only on a Scooter! And without guns. Or a damsel in distress. (Local deliveries only, please. )
(Sample list at bottom.)

Service #2
——————————————
Would you like to have your private event professionally photographed? Or need the services of a freelance photographer? If so, I’m the guy! I have skills!

I’ve shot private parties/events, models, and have extensive experience capturing random moments of goodness. Perhaps you’d like to have your own personal vacation photographer. How awesome would that be? Professionally shot vacations?!
(Samples here, here and here.)

Service #3
——————————————
Do you have mathematical theorems that need proving? Is linear mathematics getting you down at the workplace? If so, I’m the guy! I have skills!

I’m just kidding. I forgot everything I learned. I don’t even carry my pocket book of integrals any longer.

Times, they be tough. I really need to find work.